The following is an assembly of random thoughts on beauty, not feeling good enough, and insecurities. But mostly, it's a reminder for myself.
There are some days when I feel pretty. When I have makeup on my face. When my hair is done. And I love having a great eyelash day. I feel skinny, and my clothes fit right. I look in the mirror, and enjoy what I see. I'm proud of what I see.
But what about the other 90% of the days when I look in the mirror and think, "Yikes, you look rough."
Those are the days that I want to address. That stupid mindset we carry with us. No matter how we look at ourselves, or what we do to enhance the beauty we're given, we see flaws. It's like our eyes are trained to find something, ANYTHING, that is wrong, or out of place. We get complimented on an outfit, or hairstyle, and IMMEDIATELY ride it off by making a comment on how terrible we look, or feel.
In college I challenged myself to a week without makeup. Sounds easy, right? No. Not at all.
I would wake up in the morning, look at puffy, tired eyes and hate what I saw. On top of that, I was going through a growing period with humility and pride. That week sucked. It felt like God brought me down to the ground, and let me stay there. I had to re-train myself to look at myself that way God sees me, and to give the gifts He gave me back to Him as offering. The whole week was God molding my mind to see what He sees.
Since that challenging week of doom, I'm way more comfortable in my own skin. I can walk in public with my hair thrown up, and no makeup. BUT there are still the majority of days when I feel ugly, unwanted, and undesirable. And I still listen to the voice that screams at me...the voice saying I'll never be skinny enough, pretty enough, or good enough.
Here's my challenge to myself, and anyone else. Take the negative, and stomp it to the ground with TRUTH.
Here are some of mine:
You are too chubby.
I am a WOMEN. I have curves. I enjoy food. I am accepted the way I am
You have acne.
My skin tone does not take away from my natural beauty.
I will never be as pretty as (insert name here).
No I won't. But I am my own form of beautiful. No one, and no thing can tell me otherwise.
Here's what I'm trying to get at ladies. STOP comparing yourself to others. Find your own beauty. You are beautiful...big boobs, or no boobs. Bubble butt, or flat butt. Cellulite, or smooth. Thighs that tough, or ones with a gap. Big tummies, or toned. Dark circles, or none. Stained teeth from too much coffee, or a smile that belongs in a colgate commercial. Dried, cracked heels, or smooth. Dream disney princess hair, or greasy, unwashed hair. Unplucked eye brows, or the perfect arched brow....I think you get my drift.
Find the beauty in yourself. Ask The Lord to re-mold your mind, and open your eyes to see what He loves about you. He created YOU. He makes no mistakes, and He loves us just the way we are. Even the smelly, no makeup, post-workout version of yourself. In fact, maybe that's version of you He likes best. Being true to who you are.